Not quitting….just postponing

Life is beautiful, hard, challenging, and difficult at times.  When I signed up to Haines City last Summer I was looking for a bigger challenge and a future date for it.  But life sometimes has other plans and other things came to my plate.  But I pushed as much and as hard as I could to keep my mind focused in my goal, to finish my first Half Ironman.

Time passed by and each day was more difficult and challenging to keep mind in sync with my body.  My body was great, my mind was not.   Until a month ago training was causing me more stressed than joy.  Found myself struggling too much, too anxious, to worried about something that for 5 years I have been enjoying and that is a stress reliever.  Seeing that date was so close and that I haven’t prepared as well as I wanted made me stress even more. 

As date got closer, anxiety and worry build up due to the fact that I haven’t been training consistently and as I was supposed to.  On race day I was going to hurt badly and possibly injure myself and that is not the idea. 

So this week I made the difficult decision to not be at Start Line at Florida 70.3 on April 12^th.  Number 656 won’t be there.  It does not mean that I’m quitting, it means I postpone to a better date so I can prepare the way I want, to feel happy that I’m at Start Line, to feel ready and focus that I will finish the damn race. It has been a hard decision, but not as hard as life itself it is lately. 

I’m taking this time to focus in my physical and mental strength.  Getting stronger, build proper endurance and be ready for next challenges.  Also want to motivate friends along the way.  I want to feel again the joy of training and competition, not stress.  I want to fall in love again with swim, bike and run.

What race is next? No clue, I’m still thinking about it, but for sure I will be at that start line with a smile.

I see myself at finish line of a 70.3 in the near future; I will let you know when.  Until then, I’m getting stronger and better.

“Cause I’m only human

And I bleed when I fall down

I’m only human

And I crash and I break down…” – Christina Perri

13 Weeks for 13th Triathlon Race...That First Tri

Happy Holidays, Happy New Year!!

Since December everything been up and down, more downs than up but I'm still here.

A weird characteristic about me is that I'm always counting in my head, I count steps, while going up and down stairs, count days, weeks, years, age. So is no surprise that I'm counting weeks until race day!

I've been thinking lately about my approach towards a 70.3 race. It will be longest race to complete in 5 years since started to do tris. So I remembered my first race, how for years I wanted to finish a triathlon. It took 4 weeks to get ready to my first race which was Sprint distance. I was already running and swimming so I increase times I did it per week like friends advice and also started taking spinning classes. My friend Maha lend me her road bike then started biking at a park few times per week as well.

In no time it was race day, June 5^th, 2010. Bib number was 23, my favorite number!! Had all my gear ready, nerves were kicking, family was cheering. While waiting for swim wave someone behind me ask if there were gators in the lake....apparently yes!! It is my turn to go to the water and I have to say that its been one of my fastest 400 meters open water!!

Out of the water and ready for transition and off to go to bike, I wanted to die!! two loops, 10 miles later I got out of the bike. This is South Florida, so was soooo hot!! Put bike in rack, got my hat and race belt and off I go to run...ouch! Now I know why they call it a brick! Legs were not responding at all, was so hot, heart in my throat, got so frustrated I started walking right away. My spinning trainer Meredith went to see the race and she jumped right next to me to encourage to walk and run. She never left my side until I saw the finish line. I sprint to finish line and lift my arms in the air, I was a triathlete.

All the emotions of that first race were amazing, I felt that I conquered, felt that was the hardest thing in sport I have done ever!! And for sure was hooked with the sport. Of course, that passion never stopped. 5 years later I'm training for my first 70.3 which 4 to 5 times the distance I did in that first race.

I'm ready? Not yet, still 13 weeks for race number 13! But getting stronger mentally to complete my workouts. 1 workout at a time, 1 day at a time.

“I am building a fire, and everyday I train, I add more fuel. At just the right moment, I light the match.” – Mia Hamm

21,20,19,18,17...Falling and bam!

Who says any journey is easy? Nobody. 5 hard weeks in EVERY aspect of my life. 5 weeks where been crumbling mentally and physically. 5 weeks where I had to dig deep deep DEEP down my brain, heart and soul to be able to workout. Few things that have been trying to kill my motivation. Working on so many things at the time, my life is changing, every bit of it is changing. I have cried while biking, cried while in the shower, cried while swimming...

So, while handling so much inside me, trying to bring back that motivation, went for a run last Monday. Weather was awesome, was feeling a heavy breathing, chest bothering but like I always do, I manage. It was dark, had my headlight on and after mile and a half I stumble on the sidewalk and BAM!!! I go flying like Superman but with no super hero cape to save me I fell, knees first, arms extended on the front. Right there I CRIED!!! Cried out of frustration, anger, sadness. First thought that crossed my mind? “F*CK!!! Did I injure myself? Do I have to stop my training? I have a DAMN 70.3 to finish in 4 months!!!!” Then all the why's started crossing my mind and more tears came with it, then anger, so much anger came with it. Suddenly my other thoughts were “Ok I might not be able to run, but for sure I will be able to bike and swim.” Positive thoughts Arlene, please!

In the past 4 years, I had an accident and hit same knee 3 times, different years. I had first bike accident in 2011 that I had to stop training for 3 months due to a bone bruise in left knee. It is my fear, bone bruises are very hard to heal. Takes time. November 2012 had another bike accident, also fell on left side, hit left hip and knee but fortunately didn't caused much, then now I fell running and bruise on the bone still hurts, still swollen.

Not going to lie, I'm beyond terrified but only thing I can do is not run, but keep moving. I'm sure I will figure out all of this and this too shall pass... I'm still here, I'm still breathing, I'm not staying still for sure.

Looking forward to week 16.

“If you're going through hell keep going” - Winston Churchill

22 and Counting!

Yes! In 22 weeks I will be at starting line of Florida 70.3 Haines City. But lots of work must be done in the next 22 weeks. Every workout counts, every rest day count as well. Now is when I see more two a day training, mileage is increasing. Some days been feeling stressed about how to squeeze so much workout, when to do it when my body feels so tired or when kids schedule is very busy. There are days that the mind is not in tune at ALL! And all I want to do is quit. But I have few constant reminders: “Arlene, you really wanted this”, “You have to finish that race”, “Tomorrow's workout will be better”, “This is just a bad week”, “Do the damn workout!”. I have to say that the mind is very tricky.

Week 23 was very solid workout week. Was able to finish all my workouts, ending with last long run yesterday that almost ended crawling. At the same time I have been feeling how the body is changing and adjusting to workout volume. I don't know what it is, if eating better, able to push every mile or a combination of both. Day after all of those hard workouts I feel so sore but for some reason another training comes and I feel the energy to do exactly what training asks. Now is when all the dots are starting to connect...finally!

Some things does not change, I enjoy so much my swimming, the bike is ok and must get out more often (doing must of it on trainer) and the run still slow but steady.

Must keep focus and keep moving forward, hard sometimes but able to fight the mind.

What keeps you motivated?

“All progress takes place outside the comfort zone.”~Michael John Bobak

How bad do I want this?

It’s been two weeks of training already, still easy, getting into the routine again.  I have stopped few times while running 45 minutes, I have complained a little bit, I have asked myself why I’m doing this and I started to feel that empty feeling again in my chest.  All my workouts are by myself, me, my music, and my mind.  It has been me against the hot weather, against the windy days, against the clock. 

Since my last International Distance triathlon in March I have to confess that I lost some of the triathlon passion, mostly the competition, the fear of hard courses, very hot races.  I used to have more confidence, I used not to give up while running, I used to push beyond my limits but something happened to me. 

So after a few months I setup the challenge of the Half Ironman not knowing how to tackle it.  I had the house cleaning and moving so I decided to stop any training, gather myself, think and that’s when Ryan Knapp reached out to me again and asked if I was ready, my answer was YES.  But the slow start, short trainings, hot days still had me thinking again, asking myself why I’m doing this.  I was thinking to do a Half Marathon in December, Ragnar Relay in February and maybe a sprint triathlon in between.  I stopped myself and decided to clear the path to Haines City, all the races are on hold, no half marathon, Ragnar will depend of how I feel and a Sprint distance as well. I want to have solid training in the next 26 weeks left, I want to focus in each training, practice nutrition and feel prepare when April 12^th arrives.

While chatting about nutrition and indoor trainer with lovely coach, mother and triathlete Christina she asked me the question “How bad you want this?” How bad do I want this? How bad do I want this?  I repeated myself that when went for 45 minutes run and every time I wanted to walk I repeated myself the question and the answer came to me easy and spontaneously…I WANT THIS!  Yes!!! 

When I started the triathlon journey 4 years ago I said that by 2015 I wanted to do my first 70.3 and I’m on my way to accomplish this, but in 26 weeks I have to put all the effort, training and focus. 

That question and my answer was like a brand new spark that light my fire again, the emptiness in my chest is no longer there, and the will power came back again with a purpose.

I WANT THIS! IM WORKIN ON IT! And I WILL FINISH!

“Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunityTo seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?” – Lose Yourself by Eminem



Cheers!

Introduction...again

I am a woman, mother, wife, triathlete. Avid reader, music lover, technology savvy, sports junkie. This is me in a nutshell. Oh, wait! There is more, lots more. Well, let me tell you little bit about my story.

I love sports! I grew up in a house where we watched every baseball and basketball seasons, Olympics, Goodwill games and any other sports that my dad put on TV. I did competitive swimming since 9 years old, learned synchronize swimming, diving and water polo as well. I practiced volleyball, baseball, basketball, softball, taekwondo and judo. I participated at track and field competitions since Elementary school. Apparently I cannot stay still huh?

After having my 3^rd baby, I was battling with postpartum depression for second time. I started to lose weight, eating healthier and went to therapy. But I wanted something more. I played with the idea before of doing a triathlon one day. For so many years my hometown (Vega Baja, Puerto Rico), hosted a triathlon competition. I used to think people were crazy doing those races! Couldn't imagine that after swimming I don't know how long, jump on a bike and ride then run after...you kidding? No way! BUT this lady never stay still, always played with the idea in my mind and decided to go for it.

My husband mentioned to me before about spinning, his words were “spinning can kick your butt!”. So his gift for Mother's day in May 2010 was a package of 20 spinning classes. I was already running and swimming to stay active. After my first spin class and meeting my class instructor, she told me she was a triathlete. So I started to play with the idea again. Another friend told me that there was a race beginning of June, a distanced called Sprint triathlon, she said that was short haha. Another friend told me I can borrow her bike...so I enrolled in my first Tri. 3 weeks after I finished my first triathlon with a kick ass swimming time, an average bike portion and a walk/run 5k. DONE! I was a triathlete!

So it's been 4 years, 9 Sprints, 3 Olympics, 2 Half Marathons, 1 10k, few 5k's. Thousand of hours of trainings, early mornings, late nights, 2 bike accidents, few injuries, tears, frustrations, PR's, few podiums, even being the last person to cross the finish line at a race. But I'm still here, hungry for more.

This is why, two months ago I enrolled in my next big adventure, 70.3 Haines City Florida. My first Half Ironman! Honestly, was a tough decision, having a family and training for big races it is never easy. But my family have been at every race cheering, always having their support.

So, I would like to make you part of my training adventure. I would like to share with all of you my journey to my first 70.3 and other races coming on my way. It is OK if you get bored....I talk a LOT!

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt 

Cheers!