Who says any journey is easy? Nobody.
5 hard weeks in EVERY aspect of my life. 5 weeks where been
crumbling mentally and physically. 5 weeks where I had to dig deep
deep DEEP down my brain, heart and soul to be able to workout. Few
things that have been trying to kill my motivation. Working on so
many things at the time, my life is changing, every bit of it is
changing. I have cried while biking, cried while in the shower,
cried while swimming...
So, while handling so much inside me,
trying to bring back that motivation, went for a run last Monday.
Weather was awesome, was feeling a heavy breathing, chest bothering
but like I always do, I manage. It was dark, had my headlight on and
after mile and a half I stumble on the sidewalk and BAM!!! I go
flying like Superman but with no super hero cape to save me I fell,
knees first, arms extended on the front. Right there I CRIED!!!
Cried out of frustration, anger, sadness. First thought that crossed
my mind? “F*CK!!! Did I injure myself? Do I have to stop my
training? I have a DAMN 70.3 to finish in 4 months!!!!” Then all
the why's started crossing my mind and more tears came with it, then
anger, so much anger came with it. Suddenly my other thoughts were
“Ok I might not be able to run, but for sure I will be able to bike
and swim.” Positive thoughts Arlene, please!
In the past 4 years, I had an accident
and hit same knee 3 times, different years. I had first bike accident in 2011 that I had to stop training for 3 months due to a bone
bruise in left knee. It is my fear, bone bruises are very hard to
heal. Takes time. November 2012 had another bike accident, also
fell on left side, hit left hip and knee but fortunately didn't
caused much, then now I fell running and bruise on the bone still
hurts, still swollen.
Not going to lie, I'm beyond terrified
but only thing I can do is not run, but keep moving. I'm sure I will
figure out all of this and this too shall pass... I'm still here, I'm
still breathing, I'm not staying still for sure.
Looking forward to week 16.
“If you're going through hell keep
going” - Winston Churchill
